ginaspider

The Uber Leet Hacker Force site is officially up: uberleethackerforce.deepgeek.us

You ever go into the kitchen to do something and return with a bunch of cheesy crackers totally not accomplishing what you went in there to do. Delicious mind you, but now I have to go back into the kitchen and do what I was going to do in the first place.

I have mentioned this previously a little but I have to say that I'm totally in love with listening to banging techno and banging your head while typing so much so that you can barely see what you're doing and your head get's far too dizzy to keep it up for more then 3 minutes. This is what I'm doing now. C iz 4 life!!!!!!

also, I picture of my microphone. Very very pretty I thinks

For those of you in minneapolis. Who did genderblur? Do you still have pride-events? As far as I can tell the get-togethers have been stagnant for years. Is there anyone there who would be offended if I started the events up again?

so this is what I was thinking about for a new genderblur logo. What do you think?

I haven't listened to the actual radio in a while (you know, the one that has the antenna). Quick tour of the commercial FM-dial, all this pop-music is shit! 50,0000 watts lady gaga shoved into the atmosphere and people rapping about how the yellow brick road is paved with hundred dollar bills. I'm very much happy that this doesn't come in through my dental work. The radio goes to shit, the television tells us how we'll all be idols and movie stars. Selling that american dream like a fucking carrot on a stick! You telling me this isn't going to happen to the internet?! You telling me THE INTERNET IS SPECIAL? You telling me that we've learned our lesson? The people who take the internet are going to play us like a fiddle, just as they did with every other medium. Obama enforces trade embargo against open source? What the fuck is that? Encryption as munitions and youtube deleting all your videos. DMCA-- THE D M FUCKING C A!! Comcast blocking your torrents, make sure the rich get paid first. Packets stifled because they're not from cnn.com. Your books being snatched from your kindle, it's fahrenheit 451! People in the 'states being afraid to break all this primitive encryption and restriction mechanisms. Dmitry Sklyarov being held in jail for trying to free the ebook! Copyright extension because of a god damn cartoon mouse! You telling me the internet is not going to be taken!? Information is god-damn real-estate to those who own the wires, and we're renting. When I look back on the radio and listen to how it is now it makes me want to throw-up. How powerful radio and television could of been

"You see gee, it's all goin'a be free whether we take it by force or we take it nicely"




Dearest livest journal,

So my panel went well considering I accidentally deleted EVERYTHING ON MY FUCKING COMPUTER moments before I was about to begin. I've been using unix for over a decade now and only up until recently have I been having this problem. I figured out why-- I can't type and hold on a conversation at the same time, like ever. I can multi-task like a multi-tasking mofobian when I'm typing alone or with the banging techno-music is shoved into my ears but the second someone says 'hi, thea' I start typing "rm -rf /" like it's going out of style. So, that totally made for an interesting start. Fortunately it was a panel for a bunch of unix geeks and we successfully recovered all (well, most of) the presentation material before doing a clean re-install of bsd. It was hella wicked- actually we made a challenge of it and I probably made a few new friends as a result. The panel itself actually went off pretty keen although a little short because of not having a couple of presentation items from the rm -rf /'ing at the beginning of the day. Had a pretty long questions period and lot of discussion about all sort of things afterwards. My camera only captured an hour but I'll probably stick it up on youtube. Anyways--

The thing I really like about preforming or doing panels is that people come up to you at the end. I'm a little shy in real-life so that's really nice. From now on I'm always going to go up to people when they do their panels at the end just in case nobody else does, if that happened I'm sure that would be miserable for them. So... as for panels it's also a nice way to confirm that you're not full of shit. If you do really niche things with computers or math or engineering you don't really get to verify things too much. You're kinda in your own bubble and most nobody knows what you're talking about. To keep myself from becoming arrogant it's so nice to talk to people who know what you're talking about so you know that you know what you're talking about- does that make sense? There were way more programmers in the crowed then i expected- I guess that what you get when most everyone is over 40. So anyway, take care all.

Also, again for reasons that I shall not get into I feel very loved right now

So I've decided to start up genderblur again. For those of you in the minneapolis area and who are queer in some way and want to preform something (anything- really) let me know. the temporary date is friday august 20th 7pm-12am. This of course is at st. patricks cabaret!

It's a little strange listening to quinton crisp talk about the state of homosexuality in the late 60s. A lot has changed since then and it saddens me a little that most of the gender-nonconforming energy that gay people had has been sucked away with their assimilation into straight culture. Acceptance is finally here and you can be gay so long as you're not too gay. Lesbians are welcome but no more dykes please. While repression has lightened up quite a bit since the 60s it only has for what can't been seen and what only happens in the bedrooms. I think we've lost a lot of our other motivations since all this gay-acceptance has happened. Nowadays most of the gender-nonconforming energy has been put onto transsexual people because they afford the opportunity for us to maintain straight gender-normative culture. You're just a woman in a man's body aren't you? or you're just a man in a woman's body! One day you'll 'pass' and can leave all this behind you and we can forget about you and go back to how things have always been. This also saddens me. Modern gay/lesbian acceptance and modern transsexual acceptance is a trap. They'll accept you so long as your not *really* queer. Androgynous people are also welcome so long as you look like a cute soft butch, we'll accept your androgyny so long as we can tell you're really a girl... or look like david bowie. What- you're bi? Pick a side! we all know there can't possibly be any middle ground. Genderqueer? What's that? Now you're just making up words. Hermaphrodite? you must be self-hating to identify with that.

"energy vampire," I've heard this term before. Frankly I don't believe in vampires.

I don't really play the guitar so I'm not wholly appreciative of how hard it is.. but ****HOLY SHIT!!!!***********8



youtube link

So I just watched modern-family. Ahh the trials and tribulations of an over-stereotyped family and their fictional situations that only exists in some fucko writer's idealized freakin' head. Masquerading as reality with the shaking cameras and whatnot it reminds me of just how fucked up tv is. I'm very glad that more and more people are turning away.

"now I have become death, destroyer of worlds"

I find making perfectly round omelets to be most satisfying. While the shape of my food has largely been insignificant I find that making the shape of my omelets perfectly round is among my highest priorities.

My demo-mate disappeared and the party this was going to be an invite for is over, so this isn't going anywhere. Totally incomplete dump of what I had. All code music and graphics by myself



youtube link

I love acid for the way it makes me move
I love acid its the sound you can't improve
I love acid it insights nasty groove

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid going round and round and round
I love acid going up and down
I love acid insights fleshy sound

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid and this dirty jig ass beat
I love acid move your mind move your feet
I love acid get up feel this beat

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid, can feel it in my dreams
I love acid taking it to the extreme
I love acid the sound so supreme

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid, fueled this romance
I love acid, it'll put you in a trance
I love acid its the sound to dance

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid for the way it changes flow
I love acid for the way it comes in droves
I love acid and thats the way the feeling goes

I love acid, fueled this romance
I love acid, it'll put you in a trance
I love acid its the sound to dance

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid going round and round and round
I love acid going up and down
I love acid insights fleshy sound

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid and this dirty jig ass beat
I love acid move your mind move your feet
I love acid get up feel this beat

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid, can feel it in my dreams
I love acid taking it to the extreme
I love acid the sound so supreme

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid....acid.....acid

I love acid and thats the way the feeling goes

...acid....acid.....acid

youtube link

I'm wondering of anyone has experienced any feelings of inadequacy for not being "as fun" as guy friends. I'll explain, nearly all of my friends have been women. That's interesting because, with one exception currently, most of their friends have been guys. I think the guy-girl friendship ratio is different with most lesbians but I actually don't stay friends with most lesbians that long. Erra-- that's a whole other story. Anyway I'm wondering if anyone else feels this sort of inadequacy for not being as fun as the guy friends with their friends. It just kinda makes sense to me that people would experience this..

edit:

I want more queer people in my life, specifically gender-non-conforming queer people. All this guy/girl stuff *take the above, for example* is far less important with queer friends as I have noticed. My luck has been pretty bad however. Either I'm friends with someone who I find actually kinda boring and have no spark for or I'm friends with someone who doesn't make enough of an effort to be with me. For some bizarro reason I end up staying friends with a lot of straight people. Don't get me wrong- I love my friends dearly. There's just a certain catharsis with people whom you have a shared experience with that just cannot be replaced. That's something that I'm really missing in my life. Guess I have to bare the cold and go out to the queer-bars more often.

For reasons that I wont disclose, I feel loved right now. My friends are good friends

Forgive me if this doesn't make sense, I'm very much tired at the moment. I spent the night at a friend's, she's asleep right now. Although I only think I slept for three hours I can't help but to feel uppity for a few hours in the morning during this time. Played video games mostly last night. I typically don't play video games but I made myself do it. Sometimes it's not so bad participating in them, I always feel however that the gameplay is too distracting and I don't get to enjoy all the pretty colors and sounds as much. Typically I enjoy watching video games far more then being concerned with how they are suppose to be played. I felt though that it facilitated feeling at with my friend, so that was a pretty good aspect. I'm going to go downtown and catch a bus back soon, probably stop in the bookstore. The article I submitted to this magazine finally got published today, I think it was almost a year ago when I wrote it for them. I'm eager to see what they printed and read it over once more to see if I made any sense.

Started a self-portrait early yesterday to calm myself. I'll try and finish it tonight- if I feel awake enough too. Maybe tonight I'll pick-up my paper computer a little bit, as well. I'll also have to spam all the graphic-designer offerings in craigslist again. Nobody got back to me the last time about it- it's been a few months and now everything is fresh again. I'm doing a presentation in a few weeks at one of the local computer clubs, I probably should start preparing some slides.

I've been feeling a lot more attractive lately- that's good. It probably sounds silly to find value in that but I feel there is an extreme value in feeling attractive. It makes it easier to interact with people. I either ignore or don't get too much re-enforcement concerning that so when I feel pretty low I feel that there must be something very ugly about me... I don't want to talk too much about that though right now. Had some people sign my rl02 diskpack the other day:



I've never really had year books nor have I really wanted people to sign things when I was a kid so I'm getting pretty keen into this whole signing thing, it's kinda fun. Will you sign my diskpack?

The sea-shore, the sunny.
four others and what it ought to be.